My Birthday and some Lenten thoughts

Hello everyone!

Today I was given a very usual birthday celebration. Poe Poe called out to me from where he was sitting outside in the sand pit. Really quick, here are pictures of the daycare:

 I was in the area off to the left of this picture, the balcony of the daycare where all very important events take place--namely that of who can run around in circles the fastest--quite vital activity, really. Anyway, he shouts to me: "Becca! I make cake for you!"

I look out to see two small mounds made of wet sand with sticks sticking out from the top. "Oh, thank you so much, Poe Poe! They look so good!" is my enthusiastic reply.

"Come!" he unceremoniously commands.

So I step down off the balcony and slip on my sandals, touched that he wants to give me his precious cake. "Is this my birthday cake? Can you sing me Happy Birthday?" Haha, as you all know it is not my birthday, but one of the few songs Poe Poe knows in English is the Happy Birthday song. He is so cute when he sings it, so I get him to every chance that I can.

"Yes!" He waits until I come over and sit next to him and then just stares at me.

"Okay, sing 'Happy Birthday...'" I prompt

At the top of his lungs he chimes in: "Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday Becca! Happy Birthday Bec-ca." Needles to say, you have to actually know what he is saying to understand the words--haha, it sounds more like "buday"

I blew out the candles and it was quite nice as he gave me the "cheddies" (translation: cherries) and "stawbeddies" (strawberries) that topped the cakes. He then cut it into pieces and spoon fed me my piece.

I am feeling more comfortable and at home here with each passing day--praise God! It has not been an easy transition and I have come to understand, to an extent, why. I had many expectations upon signing up for this volunteer experience. Expectations about how easily I would connect with the people I would be serving, how there would be other volunteers here to do things with, and, since God called me here I wouldn't feel lonely at all--why would I be lonely if I am doing God's will?

Well, I struck out three for three! While I am beginning to get to know the people here and relationships are being built, it has been a slow process--I've never had to work from scratch like this completely on my own--I usually have a friend or family member with me! Haha, I am the only volunteer on site! Even though the people here are very nice and invite me to do things with them, this is also there home and I do not expect them to drop everything to take care of my free time for me. And I am lonely. I know that God is here with me, but it is so different from having a family member always there.

So with all of these thoughts and unfulfilled expectations, I went to mass on the second Sunday of Lent to be greeted with theses words from the priest's homily: "I am taking her into the desert to show her how much I love her. This desert is Lent." Wow. I felt like God was speaking directly to me (he even used "her"!). It all clicked right then and there (it didn't make it easier, but I now understood a bit better). I am not here for myself or to have this fun amazing experience the way I thought I would. I had been so down and missed my family so much when Lent had started that I hadn't even thought of a Lenten penance. Lent is a time to suffer with Christ--I was suffering, but not in the way Christ calls us to suffer--with Him. I was keeping it all bottled in and it was negatively effecting my outlook and my emotions. I was sinking into depression and I needed a life line.

God gave it to me, haha, but of course not in the way that I expected. I wanted a friend to come to Wildflower that would make it less lonely or at best to have the green light to pack for home early (haha)! But would either of these things have made me truly happy? For a time, yes, but I would always have a restlessness deep down inside that was what drove me here in the first place. I am here in the desert with the Lord--I am here to learn to trust Him completely and grow in relationship with Him. My desert is the absence of family and friends, comfort and security. And like any penance, you have to offer it up and walk the way of the cross with the Lord, join your sufferings with His, suffer alongside him and trust in the will of God the Father.

As strange as this may sound, knowing this and putting it into practice has given me such peace and allowed my to truly give of myself to the people here. Is it easy? Heck no! But then again, giving up sweets was never easy either--haha, and I think I'm having more luck with this penance anyway (I always ended up cheating with the sweets...)

Love y'all!